jealousy or insecurity

For 20 years, I’ve been the kind of girl that “What I want, I get.” Maybe I can say I’m a little spoiled but when I started living on my own (pay my own rent, no allowance from mom, no “bili mo ko” attitude”) I started to feel different. I started to feel jealous? Or should I say insecure? Every time I looked around, at some point in my life I wish/want to have what others have. Whether it’s material things or personality or attitude or lifestyle or career or even love life, I want to have everything. Maybe it’s not jealousy or insecurity; maybe it’s me being selfish and self-centered. OR maybe I’m not contented with my life. Well I’m kinda contented with my career. I’m contented and happy at the end of the day because I know I accomplish something. I’m also kinda contented with my life because I can live on my own and on the other hand I have my family and friends back home. I’m also kinda contented with my love life because there’s someone out there who loves me. But there’s something missing. I don’t have any idea what am I missing here. There’s no perfect life. I have to admit that my life is not perfect. No person in this world is contented (unless they’re pretending to be contented, or denying that they don’t want ANYTHING). Some people are showing off that they have much better life than anyone else. Some are waiting for others to notice there existence. But maybe some people are JUST contented. Either way, I still can’t distinguish what I’m feeling. Jealous? Insecure? Envy? Self-fish? Hmmmm…

Maybe somewhere out there, some people wants the life I have right now. All I can do for now is to love my life, embrace my insecurities, be a better person and be contented and thankful for what I have right now.

Who knows someone is dying to have my life. :p